Non-Fiction Essays and

Personal Articles

 

This article I wrote five years or more ago. It about similarities between women and cats, and men and dogs.

 

K-9s and Felines

 

Have you ever paid enough attention to people to realize that guys really are like dogs, and women are like cats? Of course you have. It's a common concept, but here's how I have experienced a situation fitting it perfectly.

There are these girls that live in this big white house right next door to me. They come out to walk their dogs, let the cat out, and just hang around outside a lot of the time. Anytime I see them, out of my good nature, I just go over and have a little chat with them. Just to talk and hang out. For some reason though, it always feels like they are trying to seduce me. They give me those looks, and pet my arm as they speak to me. I’m surprised they don’t purr in my ear. Of course, come to think of it, that would actually be a pretty good turn on.

Anyway, that’s beside the point. The point is, that when they do this, I get this visual in my head of them walking in between my legs and brushing the inside of them. Their tail gliding up, down, and around my leg, then raising their ass in the air saying, “Who loves kitty?”
“I do, I do!”

But I don’t say things like that. That’s why it’s in my head. I don’t give in to those playful kitty looks, most of the time. Especially when they have boyfriends! Don’t piss where another man has pissed until he is done completely and not coming back to moisten the process.

After I shoo the kitties away, I can’t help but watch them leave. They walk off and move like a cat’s behind. Slowly swaying up and down, left to right. My crotch seems to start lunging forward and barking, but I slap his nose and run to the house in pain.

A few days later after one of these incidents. I go over to the house to give the girls a bit of information that they might want to know. I was just being a good nice neighborly person. I go to the house and knock on the door, and this tall, skinny, dumb looking redneck opens the door and automatically bows up to me, “Who the hell are you?”
  “I’m Aslan. One of the guys that lives next door.”
Sounds reasonable enough, right?
“So. What the hell do you want?” he says to me not changing any dumb looks.
“Take it easy Fido,” is what my face says to him.


I mean, hell, I’m just trying to pass along some fucking news and he looks like he wants to start something just because I’m there. I’m surprised he didn’t quickly run over to his girlfriend and piss all over her, just to prove to me that she belongs to him.

Then I get in his face and say, “Who the hell are you buddy?! This is my territory! I pissed on all these trees before you even thought about visiting your girlfriend at her new house! Don’t mess with the fuckin’ lion or you’ll get your face bitten off!”

What really happened, oddly enough, was something completely different.
“I was just coming over to tell your girlfriend that I found her cat lying dead on the side of the road,” I said to him, hoping that he would feel like shit for acting like a meat head.
“Cool. Thanks, I’ll tell her.”

Then, he shuts the door. That’s just like a dog to not really care what happens to a cat. But I’m sure if I pet “his” kitty he’d get all kinds of worked up. I just turned back and went inside my house. I did the good neighborly policy. I just don’t understand why we guys want to fight just because someone walks in an area, that may or may not be, their territory. They need to be watching their girls more than controlling them because that just pisses me off. If I get pissed off, then I will piss him off by pissing on her and making her mine! They already purposefully give me cat scratch fever. They shouldn’t make me have to fill my prescription.

Now, I’m not saying I’m not a dog. I just don’t like to keep cats on a leash. That’s just awkward.

 

This next article I wrote five or so years ago as well. It is about people in my generation and younger, and the outlook of love.

 

Love-ish Me

 

In our age of love now, people have lost touch with love all together. People use the word love profusely and without meaning, diminishes all thoughts and feelings of the actual emotion. People exploit themselves to the world, and then wonder how certain things happen in their lives. Exploited by Facebook, and by spreading sex to everyone, rather than spreading actual love.

Sex is at the peak of the pyramid for love in our modern age. I’m twenty-two years old and a senior at a state university, and have never seen so many people love sex so much. Everyone wants to have sex, and some want to base an emotional relationship on sex, but that really doesn’t work out to well. Not everyone can have a good relationship based just on great sex. Unless the couple has confirmed to each other, or in their own heads, that the relationship is just for sex and don’t care what one another does, as long as they are there to give them sex whenever needed, but you won’t find people often who would really want a relationship with that bases, but many people are in many different “relationships” constantly, so, I could be wrong. No one knows how to deal with themselves at all anymore. Yet, it is still important, for many people in my generation to have sex in order to feel comfortable, or have fun.
“Man, why you hang out with that girl? She’s a straight up bitch!”
“Yeah, I know, but she knows how to ride.”


I couldn’t tell you how many people around my age, in my high school graduating class specifically, who have already married and had a kid, or just had a kid, and had to turn their life around. I’m sure that’s not too much different than the past, but it’s growing more towards that direction, as opposed to setting a good life, and planning for the future, before the future comes.

Don’t get me wrong, there are still chivalrous gentlemen, people having fun while planning for the future, and relationships based on other qualities than just sex; but it’s harder to find. I’m not trying to judge anyone on how they run their life, it’s just how it is now. Many my age were born of wedlock, and parents get divorced; and many follow their parents footsteps.

After hearing a lot of people, I found that many relationships started from having sex after, or during a party, not from dating. It was said that dating was a good way to know if you wanted to have a relationship. Not now. Now, it’s sex first, know each other later. Then, emotions get tangled, people go psycho, get attached, fight; condom breaks, girl forgets to take her birth control; purposefully or accidentally; and things go wrong, sending life in a spiral; to plummet, or keep steadily spinning in the air.


“So let me get this straight. Jon dated Sue and Gill dated Karen, then they all broke up. Jon then dated Karen and Gill dated Sue. Sue got pregnant from Gill, and Gill is now dating Karen, again; with a baby from Sue; and Karen and Sue are sisters living in the same house?"

What?! How and the hell does someone let that happen? The baby would call Gill Uncle Daddy!

One thing that doesn’t help relationship status is Facebook. So many people put their entire lives on Facebook, and it only complicates things. Some will get suspected of cheating, get their heart broken because someone hasn’t put their relationship status to “In A Relationship With…,” They get broken upwith on Facebook before the other person even knows about it. Some get weird stalkers who send messages,
  “You look great in your profile picture. The nurse outfit is hot, and I’m a nursing major. I love  nursing.”
(A guy raises hand in back, "Guilty for that one..")


But, whatever, people can run their lives however. Just know that whatever you don’t want people to know, don’t put it on freakin’ Facebook, at all. Don’t put your address on if you don’t want strange people waiting for you on your porch when you get home. Don’t put your phone number on if you don’t want random people calling,
“Hey, what’s up Jenny? This is Kyle.  I was just looking at your Facebook profile. I see you’re an Aquarius. I’m an Aquarius too. I also see your looking for dating, a relationship, or random play. Just wanted you to know, I’m down if you are.”
(Raises hand, "Guilty again...Damn!")

Strange things can happen from Facebook. Personally, I put whatever on there, and anyone who judges me because of what‘s on there, is dumb. Things change and people aren’t often what they appear to be. The only way you really get to know people is talking face to face. Which is why dating is a necessity in a relationship, but many have lost the meaning in the word dating.  Dating does not mean in a relationship, it’s working towards a relationship.

I even know a girl who claims to some people as being married four times, and she can’t be any older than twenty-one. Know why she claims to have been married four times? Because she labeled herself  “Married” on Facebook to four different people. No one can really claim to have been married, just because of freakin’ Facebook, that’s ridiculous. This whole thing is being taken to a whole new stupid level. I know people who aren’t homosexual that label themselves as “Married To…” on Facebook to someone of the same gender. Why? I don’t know.


Not only is there no privacy on Facebook, there’s none in actual relationships. Some people think that if they aren’t around their significant other, or talking on the phone with them; they have to text on the phone. That’s just as distracting as being out of the room for a long time to talk, but they have to inconvenience everyone around by constantly looking down to text on the phone, and not even pay attention to the conversation in front of their face. That’s just rude. Everyone needs their space and not to be smothered, but some don’t really care,
“I need to keep in touch with My Boo at all times. He’s been known to be a playa.”
There’s even been times when people get in fights because the way the text was typed, the other person had a different meaning to what was stated:
A girl texts,
“Hey baby. What you doin?”
He texts back,
“nuthen sleepin jus sleepin.”
 The girl begins to wonder,
“Is he just sleeping? Or was that a stutter, a hesitation? He sleeping with someone else and almost let it slip? He clearly typed fast.”
Then she texts,
“Are you sleeping with someone else?!”
Her cell phone rings, it’s him. She answers in a judgmental tone,
“Hey.”
“I’m sleepin’. Hear my voice? I sound tired right? Because I’m sleepin’, don’t text me if your gonna get all worked up.”
 “I’m sorry baby. Call me when you get up.”
“K bye.”
He hangs up. She feels guilty, then thinks,
“He didn’t say I love you. Does he love me? He was quick to say bye. Was she waking up and he was in a hurry to put the phone away?”

No, he was in a hurry to go back to sleep. Of course, he could have been sleeping with someone else, but she shouldn’t judge because of a text, or the way he hung up. She should just go right over and find out, and if he’s not, then there’s make-up sex for barging in the room. If he is cheating, then beat both of them, and don’t take him back, no matter what he tries to say or do. Everyone wins!

The one thing that does savor a lot of loveable feelings from me towards humanity right now, is the fact that some people do find and stay with the ones they actually love, even if it’s the same gender. They seem to be more in love with the person, rather than the idea of being with that person.

There are people out there who are married “the right way” and probably would be happier with someone of the same gender, but they go along with the standard because they are afraid to follow what they truly want. Afraid because of what society says or will say. Just like how people felt about interracial marriages when they started, but many are okay with that now. Why is this any different? (Because God said so isn’t a reasonable answer, sorry, that’s a whole other subject on its own). People who are openly in homosexual relationships are flat out saying,
“I’m with the person I love, and I don’t care what anyone thinks.”

That is how love should be treated. If you feel strongly enough to love someone and want to be with that person, and only with that person, then it shouldn’t matter what gender they are. Happiness is so hard to come by these days, it should be cherished anytime it comes. All anyone ever wants is to be happy. So, if something good makes you happy, then do it, fuck what everyone esle thinks. You are who you are, be that person. Homosexuals are the perfect example of this. I’m not saying homosexuals are perfect because no one is perfect. They are like any other person, except they aren’t afraid to show their true selves and what, or who, they truly love.


I’ve seen a relationship when there were two women together, but the way they presented themselves and reacted to each other, was just as if it were a man and woman in a relationship. I’ve seen two guys in a relationship acting like a girl and a guy.

Of course, homosexual guys seem to be the most extreme people in relationships because you can clearly see a distinguished four couple quality to them. By that I mean two guys fighting as if it were two guys and two girls fighting each other at the same time; that’s a whole different story.

The only difference really is physicality, and that shouldn’t matter because the way we use our mind is the only difference between each person. Our mentality is even the thing that makes us different from animals because I can guarantee that if animals could think like we do, then there would be no problem for some people to be with animals, which is not agreeable; nothing said about homosexuals applies to “inner species erotica”, mainly because of the psychological difference, but also it is disgusting. (Again, this too is a whole other subject).


All in all, the world now, according to me, is diminishing in love in the old ways and creating new ways of love. I am an old fashioned type of guy believing in romance, true love, chivalry, dating, heterosexuality, beauty of mind, not throwing the word love around, and loving someone because of who they are, not because of good sex. But I also believe in having an open mind and coming to terms that everything is changing, and there is absolutely nothing anyone can do about it, ever. I love and embrace that fact.

 

The next article is a review of each film in the Batman movie Saga, excluding the Adam West movie (sorry).

 

Batman Saga Review

 

Batman is the greatest comic book hero, ever! I took the idea from a friend and fellow blogger, and watched all Batman movies currently out, back to back and wrote reviews. Yes, there were sleep intervals, and other breaks, but I watched them. Since I planned on writing an overall review, I paid a lot of attention, and was surprised at how much, and what, I wrote.

There isn't an Adam West Batman movie review. Just incase you were wanting to bash me later, don’t bother because I don’t feel that the Adam West Batman compares to the other Batman movies. Although I love that movie, and West is awesome, the quality of that film doesn't compare to the quality of the other Batman movies...except maybe one. Also, I don't own the Adam West movie, but own all the others.

 

Batman

Michael Keaton, Jack Nicholson, and Kim Bassinger. Tim Burton directs and Danny Elfman does music. 

 

I’m getting this out of the way now, Michael Keaton is the best Batman AND Bruce Wayne. He’s totally great, the wealthy business playboy, and the emotionless dark vigilante. There are times when you think that he may not be a bad ass fighter, but I realized that I can blame it on choreography being horrible. Which it is, the number one thing that bothered me was bad fight scenes.Jack Nicholson as the Joker was awesome. He used jokes as great kills, he made a game out of the things he did, and he laughed a lot. His face was great. I couldn’t have asked for a better duo in the film. Kim Bassinger is very attractive “love interest” for Bruce/Batman. I didn’t like how her, and most of the people in the film found out who Batman really is though.

 

The duo of Burton and Elfman in this film is awesome. I think they are perfect together, and for Batman. Burton brought a lot of somewhat dark cartoony look and feel to the realism of Batman. It was a nice blend, which works. This movie also has the best Bat Car.

 

Overall Rating: 8.5 out of 10

 

Batman Returns

Michael Keaton, Michelle Pfeiffer, and Danny DeVito. Tim Burton directs and Danny Elfman does the music.

 

Again, Keaton is #1. Michelle Pfeiffer is A-MAZING! She so hot and sensual it’s unbearable. I know I don’t even have to explain how great she is in every way. I just...Ugh. She’s just wonderful, and Catwoman/Selina is a great “love interest” for Batman/Bruce. Danny DeVito is really creepy and cool. He looks, sounds, and acts like a human Penguin. I just once wanted to see him in the full outfit with the coat, top hat, stemmed ciggarette, glasses, and umbrella. We got the image, minus glasses and cig. I’m dealing with it though.

 

I loved the story of the villains coming to be, and how the names relate. Also, how the actors related to the characters name and life. Just an all round great acting job.Again, Burton and Elfman work great together. Christopher Walken was great, I love him as a “villain” type character. There were just times the way his hair and costume were made him look weird. It threw off my focus sometimes.

 

The fighting was still pretty bad, and I didn’t like that everyone found out Bruce was Batman.There was always something that threw me off about this movie and I never knew what it was, but I think I discovered it now. The movie seems really static. There’s no real up or down. The story is constantly moving, which is cool, but it doesn’t really go anywhere. It’s like walking down the street and seeing obstacles around you, rather than walking down the street through obstacles as an audience member. 

 

Overall Rating: 8

 

Batman Forever

Val Kilmer, Jim Carrey, Tommy Lee Jones, Nicole Kidman, and Chris O’Donnell. Joel Schumaker directs.

 

Val Kilmer makes an okay Batman, and a terrible Bruce Wayne. He was too much like a pompous businessman, runs weird, and has a creepy smile. I mean, I usually like Val Kilmer, but not here. Jim Carrey is awesome! Yes, I am biased on Jim Carrey in most cases, but everyone has to admit Carrey is perfect for The Riddler. The Riddler was always my favorite villain next to the Joker, so, this just makes me happy. Tommy Lee Jones could make a good Two-Face, but I blame the director for me not liking him that much in the film.

 

I thought Two-Face’s costume was a great idea, but too flashy, and wanna be rockstar-ish. I may be able to get over the costume had his face not have been pink, as well as his hair. I mean, it was just too colorful and cartoony, which, Tommy acted way too cartoony and comedic, you think he was wanting to be The Joker. Nicole Kidman is very attractive in this movie, as always, but I don’t feel her character is necessary, other than a “love interest”, which isn’t needed in this film.

 

Chris O’Donnell as Robin works, I guess. I understand trying to fit him in because Robin is a big part, but I don’t know, maybe it’s because they are fitting in so much already. So, no real quarrels with Chris, but his character in the film was lame.

 

The whole movie was way too colorful and flashy. Batman isn’t supposed to be that way. I don’t like how it starts right in the middle with Two-face, then somewhat explained the story. The story was horribly portrayed at that. I like seeing the stories and build up of characters, and I didn’t get it. It was all just completely over the top. Why the Batman butt shot? Why is The Riddler’s face deformed when talking to Batman after the big box thing is destroyed? We never see this happen, and then when Riddler is at Asylum, his face is not deformed. This has always bothered me.

 

The very end of the film with them running toward the camera, what the heck? Oh, and the composed music sucks, but the Soundtrack is awesome. I use to own that soundtrack, and listened often. The soundtrack and Jim Carrey are really the only good things about this movie, and saved it in my rating. This film had real potential to be great, but I think Joel dropped the ball...or whoever hired him anyway.

 

Overall Rating: 5.5

 

Batman and Robin

George Clooney, Chris O’Donnell, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Uma Thurman, and Alicia Silverstone. Joel Schumaker directs.

 

I’m going to be honest, I don’t even want to write a review about this, but I will. George Clooney sucks. Chris O’Donnell sucks. Arnold makes an okay Freeze, but probably could’ve been better had the movie not sucked in general. Uma Thurman is hot and perfect as Poison Ivy, too bad the movie sucked. Alicia Silverstone is hot, and I’ve always had a celebrity crush on her, but she made a terrible Batgirl, and her character should not have been in the movie in the first place.

 

Again, this movie is way too colorful, flashy, and over-the-top. The color and stuff works with Posion Ivy, and in some instances with Freeze, but all the other colors throughout should have been toned down, or thrown out. Limit yourself Joel, damn, you ruined Batman.Batman/Bruce already has a woman? What’s the point? Stop cramming shit in the film.

 

There’s little to no choreography in the film. Bane was stupid and pointless, and I’m glad Christopher Nolan is fixing that. Alfred suddenly has the disease that Freeze’s wife has? Too many cliche’ lines, terrible dialogue, and the end “car chase scene”, when Freeze is freezing the city, is the worst scene ever.

 

Clearly low budget studio set. It was just horrific. And Poison Ivy’s end? What the hell was that? The actual end blows too.This is the one that would compare to the Adam West Batman. You almost may think Joel is trying to pay homage to that movie, but I'm sure this wasn't a crappy movie on purpose. The only thing I liked, rather than Uma Thurman, was her entrance at the Flower Ball. It was amazing and blood pumping. Her Turkish Bath looked great as well. Oh, and I enjoyed the Batgirl butt shot, so, I take back the comment I made on the previous film because I understand now.

 

Overall Rating: 3.5

 

Note: I enjoyed that through all four films Alfred and Commissioner Gordon were the same actors, and they did a wonderful job.

 

Batman Begins

Christian Bale, Liam Neeson, Cillian Murphy, Tom Wilkinson, Michael Cain, Morgan Freeman, Gary Oldman, and Katie Holmes. Christopher Nolan directs.

 

Bale makes a pretty good Batman and Bruce. I have no quarrels, but still like Keaton. People talk about Batman’s voice, but I understand, and it doesn’t bother me. At least it’s not George Clooney. Liam Neeson is great, and a good villain type. Cillian Murphy is awesome, but I wish there was more with the Scarecrow. Tom Wilkinson blew me away with portraying the boss. He was a great bad guy, and I would never have pegged him as one. Cain was a great choice as Alfred, and is awesome all together. Oldman is fantastic, and I’m glad he’s Gordon. Morgan Freeman is a great addition to the all-star cast, and fits perfectly. Katie Holmes is so freakin’ cute with her sideways smile. I can’t hate on her, even though I think her character is a bitch, and shouldn’t have that much of an effect on Bruce like she does. 

 

The film has great darkness and realism to it, and I love seeing the story of the build up of Bruce to Batman. I also enjoyed the background with Bruce’s parents, and how they died. I liked how it was just a random mugger, and not a villain because it brings more meaning. Bruce’s parents always made an impact on Bruce/Batman, and the city itself, but we never saw that until now. I also like how the Wayne business helps Batman, it makes more sense.

 

The fight chorogography is great, either that, or it’s just properly edited and directed. The use of unknown villains is great. It brought more realism and structure to the batman Franchise. I never heard of Raz-aghul until this film, and it worked well. I remember seeing Scarecrow in the cartoons, but I don’t think the characters compare. I just wanted more Scarecrow overall.The League of Shadows fit and explains Batman’s techniques because batman is a ninja.

 

This is the first film where you see the beginning of Batman, and it’s a great story. Batman is a horrific monster to these criminals, and it’s a great portrayal. Seeing Gordon develop into his Commissioner position makes things better as well. There’s more meaning to the story as a whole. I love the use of bats in the movie, and the Bat Car is really cool, but I still like the original. I wish they would combine the two.

 

The last scene with Bruce and Rachel, she sounds like a bitch. Trying to make Bruce someone else so he can have her. I could be with you if you would just be this way for me. Maybe it will happen, maybe it won’t. Let’s see. That’s dumb, and I would’ve wanted to slap her. Although I like that she’s the “love interest” because she’s not really one at all. Best to keep it that way.I do like how Bruce being Batman is pretty much a secret to everyone the whole time. Only people who need to know, know.  The music was good and fitting too, but I’d be interested to see what Nolan and Elfman would’ve done together. 

 

Overall Rating: 9

 

The Dark Knight
Christian Bale, Heath Ledger, Aaron Eckhart, Michael Cain, Morgan Freeman, Gary Oldman, and Maggie Gyllanhal. Christopher Nolan directs.

Bale is still good, I just think he looks too scrawny in this one. I remember thinking the same when I saw it in theaters. He must’ve done ‘The Fighter’ and/or ‘The Machinist’ before this film. Heath Ledger was absolutely fantastic as the Joker. He brought great mad realism to the character. I love his joke moments, I only wish he laughed more. Aaron Eckhart was great as Harvey Dent, and Two-Face. Loved the story build up of both villains, and Two-Face looks like it should look (not pink and cartoony). I just wish there was more of Two-Face being a villain. Maggie I usually like and find attractive, but not in this film. I almost wish Katie would’ve come back. 

I love the start it sets a great tone for the Joker, and the movie. I enjoy this prologue better than the current one for the final Nolan Batman film ‘Dark Knight Rises’. I don’t know how I feel about the Scarecrow scene, then we hear nothing about it later. It just happens, and it’s done. Joker’s make-up was great, and I love how he comes up with different stories about his scars. The video Joker makes with the guy he hangs off the side of the building was perfectly creepy. The scene with Joker crashing the fundraiser looking for Dent is one of my favorite scenes. It’s scary and funny. The car scene is a favorite too. The Joker gets out of the crashed truck stumbling, and stands there yelling, “Hit me!” It was intense and great.

The scene with Reese trying to talk to Fox about blackmailing Bruce was awesome, but when Reese actually was trying to do it on TV made things better. He deserves consequences for trying to do that, and Joker’s idea was awesome, and made the movie way more intense because civilians are going after him. Which, leads to the blowing up of the hospital. That end part made me laugh with Joker standing there pressing the button, wondering why it’s not going off. I think it fits perfectly. 

It’s ironically funny that there’s a scene with Bruce and Fox, and Bruce asks about the suit being resistant to dogs, and Fox responds, “should work fine against cats”. Foreshadowing? Like the scene with the sonar, and they put emphasis on ‘submarine’? Will there be a submarine scene as well as Catwoman in the new film? 

The final dialogue between Joker and Batman was perfect. “This is what happens when an unstoppable force meets an unmovable object.”  “You can’t kill me by some code of honor, and I can’t kill you because you’re just too much fun.”

Overall rating: 9.5

 

The Dark Knight Rises

Christian Bale, Tom Hardy, Morgan Freeman, Gary Oldman, Anne Hathaway, Joseph Gordon Levitt, and Michael Caine. Christopher Nolan directs.

 

I was really excited about this movie when it came out, and it was a really good movie, but I have to say I was let down a bit. I thought the opening sequence was one of the greatest parts.

 

Tom Hardy played a great Bane, and that villian was better and looked better than the Joel Shmuck-maker version. I didn't quite understand why he sounded like a Darth Vader played by Sean Connery, but it worked. Tom had great use of his eyes and body for expressions since his face was covered. It's always fun to challenge yourself and prove your talents when you have to perform with a mask.

 

Anne Hathaway was a pretty good Catwoman. I thought her movements were great to fit the character. I can't complain, and it definitly showed and worked well with her playing both sides, good and bad, like her character is supposed to do. She looked great too, bt I have to say, I still prefer Michelle Pfeiffer.

 

Joseph Gordon Levitt was great. He plays a great cop with potential to be a great Robin and/or Nightwing, if they were to have continued that direction. Maybe he'll eventually get his chance. 

 

Everyone else did a great job as usual. Bale looked better in this film than in the last one. he was Batman size. The last film, I feel, just fell too closely with The Machinist and The Fighter. His size was gone, but that just goes to show how great Christian Bale is at transformations. Espeically since I think he gained weight for American Hustle after this film.

 

Anyway, I felt this film moved a bit slower than the last two. There was a lot of dialog, and less actiaon. The action that was in it was good, but just not enough. I'm mainly concerned with how long was Bruce Wayne supposed to be in that cell place to fix his back, which was crazy in of itself, and crawl out? I mean, the other story made it seem it was a few days, and the bomb was ticking away, but he managed to fix his back, climb out, travel back to Gotham, get in Bat Suit and the Bat Helicoptor thing all in time to get the bomb away from the city.

 

Which brings me to my next concern, how did Batman survive the blast? He didn't have enough time to get out, and the auto pilot was already stated to be out at that time. And we never see Batman eject himself. We just assume he died, which I feel that would have been best, and then appear at the cafe for Alfred to see him. I like that ending with Alfred seeing Bruce with Selina, but I want it to be confirmed that he is, in fact, alive and well, or a figment of Alfred's imagination. Neither are confirmed, we're just left guessing.

 

Another thing I didn't like was Bane's death. Granted it was a powerful blast to knock him out, but once he's out, that's it. we never see him, and he's never refrenced again. Kind of a let down. And to know that he wasn't the master mind, it was the Ra's daughter. Seemed like a cop-out.

 

I'm also not a fan of the "Robin" line. I understand that portion of the ending is to imply that anyone can be Batman if there needs to be one. It just takes money, skill, and friends who can keep a secret. It's like a handing down the reigns deal, I get it, but it didn't need the "Robin" reference. They could have gotten the same effect without that. I think it was something they decided to do to appease some of the fans, or make it somewhat interesting, but I thought it was unnecessary, especially since Batman survives!

 

Most of my issues with the film are all concerned with the ending. Other than that, it was a pretty good film, but The Dark Knight is my favorite. It was a decent ending to a good trilogy for Batman.

 

Overall Rating: 8.5

 

I can only hope for the best with Ben Affleck. I'm very much looking forward to the Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice movie, and I'm Affleck fan, and I think he's got a great Batman chin, but I'm still skeptical. I hope it doesn't end up like Spider-Man 3, or Amazing Spider-Man 2 where they try to do so much in one film, and ruin the whole thing cause they're cramming it all. I say that with Wonder Woman, Aquaman, Lex Luthor all in it while Batman and Superman fight each other. It seems like a lot, but hopefully it will work. I'm expecting another character or two to come up in this movie. They're being very hush hush about some things, and we still got another year or more until we see the final product. It better be worth it because I want this Justice League movie to be great (Though I feel the TV versions Flash and Arrow should be involved).

This article is a non-lyrical proes essay "Ode" (a poem in which a person expresses a strong feeling of love or respect for someone or something) to people.

 

Ode You People

 

People are stupid, unseeingly narcissistic, satirical, untrustworthy, helpful, generous, entertaining, and fill me with both good and bad memories. And I love every oddly complicated, yet entertaining, one of you. Praise to the people, which means me and you.

 

It’s great to get into conversations with some people who want to have complete control over a conversation.

 

“Gah, I have to write two papers, read the rest of this big ass book, do some research, plan things for spring break, plan for this party, and I have a nine o’clock class in the morning. I shouldn’t have gotten so drunk this weekend and I would’ve gotten some things done, but oh well, I had a kick ass time. I know I can get though it. One time I got real drunk the night before a paper was due and stayed up an entire day to get that thing done and turned in, and still made a B on that shit! Now that’s bad ass.”

 

It’s a summarized version, but that’s the gist of it. And all I can say is, “Yeah, man, I don’t have much to do…” Because I worked little by little on my stuff all weekend, but they don’t know that because, “Man you’re real lucky. You got it easy.”

 

Congratulations, you win, your life is harder. That may not be an actual conversation, but that’s generally how conversations go, for me anyway. A lot of people always feel like they have to star in the conversation and win the competition of whose life is harder, or better as the case may be.

 

“Yeah, when I was growing up I always tried to learn how to ride bike without any hands, but…”

“I could ride with no hands all the time. I’d ride up and down hills with no hands, hit speed bumps while riding without hands; which is a bad idea…”

“No shit…”

“But I can get over stuff like that. Cause I’m a G.”

“Yes, of course you are.”

 

Not only is it annoying, but it’s entertaining. You either get to really know someone because they are always telling their life story, or they put on a character to cover their life story, which just makes me stare and wonder who they really are and why they aren‘t that person a lot more.

 

I also love people who think they are so knowledgeable about everything. Like people who would put their life on the line on the fact that Elvis is still alive, or if the government was crooked, if ghosts and aliens are real, what SPAM is made of, or they know the secret ingredient to some unknown fact of life. People can get on such odd soap boxes.

 

“Those Kennedys are all killin’ themselves off for some bigger reason, people aren’t just killin’ ‘em, they set themselves up for it. A Kennedy will eventually rule the world I’m telling’ ya.”

“But if all the Kennedys die, then how can they rule?”

“The facts boy. Look at the facts.”

“Shut-up Grandpa.”

 

Another fascinating type of person are the extremely intellectual who think their so much more superior than a convenience store clerk, but in the end are the ones walking up to the store counter saying, “You have a whole bin of chips here, but it doesn’t say how much it is on the bag,” or something of the sort.

 

“Well, that’s because the big sign above the bin has the price, dumb-ass,” the clerk would want to say, but can’t, so instead it’s: “I’m sorry. They’re eighty nine cents.”

 

Or imagine a person who graduated Valedictorian in high school, and is extremely cocky about it, walking on the right side of the street, and you walk on the left side, “Why are you walking on the right side of the road?”

“Because it’s the right side to walk on. You walk with the traffic.”

“What?! Why would you do that? You walk against traffic. If you walk with traffic you may not being paying attention and get crushed by someone dumb. Walk against traffic, you can see the son-of-a-bitch coming at you and jump the fuck out of the way.”

“That doesn’t even make sense.”

“How does that NOT make sense?!”

 

Aside from all that, people are especially engaging because of memories. I’ve so many good and bad memories that I could never live without: loading up suddenly to drive to Galveston, just because it’s Madi Gras; making an overnight trip to casinos in Louisiana because we have extra money; partying for three straight days during a hurricane; or being forced to not have Thanksgiving with your family; but come together with friends to make the family holiday.

 

People are there at random points in life, and bring great meaning and entertainment. How can that not be praised?

 

I can never not be interested in who people are and/or why they do the things they do. No one person thinks exactly like another, and no one person thinks the same all the time. Everything is always so chaotic and complicated because of it, but even though I’m affected and pulled into the chaos of life, I still take something good and entertaining out of the mayhem, and it would never be this way without people.

 

So what I’m trying to say is, praise to the people, I love our complicated nonsense. My life would be and mean nothing without all of us.

In this article I relate a personal encounter I had on Valintine's Day, to the thought that maybe we should consider humans having more than five senses.

 

A Sense-itive Week

 

We have five senses: touching, tasting, smelling, hearing, and seeing. But why isn’t thinking a sense? Having common sense is based on thought. And why aren’t feelings a sense?

 

Why do senses have to be concrete? If they have to be concrete, then why aren’t they called the five concrete senses? When you touch, hear, and see something, in one way or another, you can feel it. What and how you feel is based on how and what you think. So, are thoughts and feelings a culmination of all the senses themselves? If not, then there should be seven senses.

 

I bring this up because this week has been a sense tingling week. More I think about it, it’s been very wet. Wet in more ways than just weather, but not wet in the other way you may be thinking. Anyway, the other day I was wearing gym shorts and a T-shirt while walking around outside; feeling the warmth of the sun with the coolness of the soft breeze; next thing I know, I’m sitting inside with a toasty heater while the wind pushes rain against the walls and windows, a tree branch shifts outside my window; I swear I heard an evil roar underneath the thunder; and my dog, Max, needed to pee.

 

I got up to get his leash and he started jumping and turning, as if he wanted to play. I opened the door and he took off downstairs, stopped, debated if it was a good idea to go during the rain, and then decided it would just be a quick run to the restroom. He sniffed and splashed quickly through puddles; he seemed as happy to be out there as I did; he picked a few spots and let loose, as opposed to usual when he picks many spots and just tinkles on each.

 

Max got back inside and shook off, collar jingling , and then laid by the heater. He didn’t look happy, but it’s better than bath days. On bath days I just pick him up and take him to the bathroom because he doesn’t catch on, and is less of a struggle. I shut the door and start the water, and Max grunts and cowers in the dirty close basket; smelling like a grease dog. I try to put him in the tub, but he stays low to the floor, trying to clench to the hard wood floor.

 

He stares at me and moans the whole time I bathe him, waiting for the moment to be done. Because when I’m done, he jumps out of the tub before I get the towel; and causes water to seep between my crotch and knees. I try my best to dry him off as he rushes for the closed door, but the moment I get the towel off his body, he shakes the rest of the water off. I open the door and he takes off, scratching the floor, panting, and dragging his back legs. I like him after he dries, before his fur felt and smelled greasy, but after it is soft, silky, and smells like blueberry soap.

 

Valentine’s Day was this week. I didn’t do anything special for anyone, but my opportunity arose when I came home to find two campus police cars in my driveway. I was scared at first, but I found that one of the girls locked her keys in her car and they were trying to help. She seemed very upset, and was complaining about calling someone to pop-a-lock and paying eighty dollars, but she only had checks, and her boyfriend had broken up with her.

 

Go figure, a break up on Valentine’s Day.

 

I felt that it would be nice for both of us if I helped her. I had a AAA card, so she didn’t have to pay anything. Later, I got the call from the pop-a-lock guy who was almost to the house. I went out to wait and heard something horrible. The girl was in her doorway, probably on the floor, screaming and crying on the phone with her boyfriend. It almost sounded like she was getting raped.

 

How can someone act that way? And about something minor as losing a boyfriend. The lock guy came and she tried her best to straighten up, but the whole time she was on the phone. The lock guy kept giving me these looks like, “What is her deal?“ I shrug and smile, “Boyfriend.” Then he gives a understanding nod and continues with his work.

 

She found her keys and left quickly to go to her boyfriends place; planning something fun, I saw karma sutra oil and a skimpy nurses outfit in her passenger seat while I was helping look for the keys.

Guess they won’t stay broken up for long.

 

Turns out, the keys were in the house the whole time, I went through that shit for nothing. Oh well, at least someone had love at some point on Valentines. I spent the rest of my Valentines inside my house, wondering why people would be like that, think like that, and feel like that. It makes no sense to me, she would probably break up with him in the future anyway; she needs to learn to appreciate being by herself, then nothing would bother her.

 

Maybe it’s just me and the fact I’m use to being alone and don’t yearn for someone that way, but then I start thinking about peoples’ feelings in general; and look at Max curled up in the corner of the couch sleeping, and I realize. If someone were to break us apart, then mine and the girls thoughts, feelings, and senses wouldn’t be much different from each other.  

An article about how I think my mother taught me about love.

 

My Mother Taught Me Love

 

Everyone should know about the Oedipus Complex. For those of you who don’t know about the complex, it deals with a son falling in love with his mother.

 

Now, this may be weird, but I think the complex goes for me in a sense. I don’t mean I want to marry my mother, or someone exactly like her, because I’ve already fully dealt with my mother and I wouldn’t want to do it again.

 

I look for a sort of motherly quality in a woman, but most of all my mother is the one who taught me about love. She taught me about love in ways she probably doesn’t even realize. So I am in love with what she represents. I’m in love with what she has to offer. Bare with me here, this isn’t as weird and freaky as you might think.

 

At my age and being in college, I look at sex and love a lot different than most other people. My mother and I guess my father too, taught me different ways to look at it. I’m not saying that they came straight out and said things to me to teach. I mean I taught myself by watching them and listening to them.

See people my age now are all about having sex with whomever, just because they want to get laid. They don’t have relationships; if they do they’re shitty ones, because they are basing the relationship on sex, which might not be that great after a few times because nothing changes, but that’s just me, I like variety.

Then people make me want to feel insecure or stupid just because I don’t act like them. In these cases, I think about my mother and how she met my father.

 

My dad was at a gas station with some friends, saw my mom with friends, and invited them to a party. They hooked up that night and eventually found out that my mom was pregnant and so they married. Very romantic, right?

 

I bet if you ask a lot of other people around my generation, that’s pretty much the same story. Well I want a different story to tell my kids. I really do want to love my wife, have a kid and really be able to say that we all love each other.

 

I heard a story about a woman who hit a guy with a car and then when they were in court the guy said he would drop the charges if she would go out with him. They went out, got married, had a kid, and still together. See, that is a pretty cool story. Not much happened, but better than,

“Met her at a gas station and married her because she had you.”

 

It is possible to randomly meet the right person and be happy. That won’t happen with they way people are these days. I’ve always been prone with going out of my way to do something just because it’s different from everyone else.

 

My mother dealt with some shit because of my father. He was a raging abusive alcoholic, which really isn’t different either. They divorced when I was two. After that point she was single forever because she always found the wrong guys. Then when she found the best guy, she let him go because she was scared that he would be the wrong guy. Then married the worst guy a few years after and had a girl. Of course, they divorced too and that girl was the only good thing that came from that marriage.

 

All the guys she has ever been with have screwed her over many more ways than one. I was in the middle catching all the shit from her, just because I was there. My mother has always deserved better than that.

I refuse to be one of those guys. I want a great and wonderful story; because it’s different and I know it can happen. I would be happy to randomly run into a woman, go out, fall in love, and have a wonderful family life.

 

I would even be happy to find and older woman (not my moms age, just older than me, but younger than her), that happens to have a kid that is in the situation I was in growing up. That way I can come in, get what I want right at the beginning and be a hero of sort to them. I always wanted a hero growing up.

© 2019 by Aslan Hollier.

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